I’m Not Even Remotely Engaged


There was a time when I had to actually get up and do things, but that’s longColOrchard_A gone. I now live in a world that I’m not even pushed to actively participate in—I live in a remote world.

We’ll start with me pulling up to my driveway. In my car I will put the pop up screen that sits on the dashboard down, push my seat back, and close the sunroof with a finger gently pressed against a button. When I get out of the car I will seal it shut by clicking on the key fob, which will close all windows that I may have left open. If it’s dark out the car will stay lit for a bit and my driveway will automatically light up just because it’s not daylight. When I open the door to the garage, a light will come on. When I enter the living room, another light will come on. And all I had to do was walk in.

Time to cook. I don’t even have to use the oven—I can microwave almost everything with two pushes of a keypad. While dinner is being semi-prepared, I can catch up with the daily news  by hitting one button on the TV remote. On a warm day, I can open the living room skylight with the touch of a button, or if I want some fresh air, all I have to do is pick up another remote and the fan or air conditioner will come on. I can do my food shopping for the next few days with a few clicks online or even order an actual full three-course meal cooked or uncooked.

With housekeeping, it’s just as easy. I hit one button to vacuum; one button to start the washing machine; one button to start the dryer or one button to start the dishwasher. When I want to have my carpets cleaned it’s a one-call event.

As for managing the financial end of things, it’s again a one or two-step activity: with two steps I can transfer money from one account to another, give money to another person, donate to a charity or pay all the bills.

Our family life is also a click away. We can Skype to a daughter in San Diego or other family members in Phoenix, Astoria or Brooklyn. We can also see siblings in every corner or England in real time (bearing in mind the time differences) for every occasion there is, or even “just because.”

I can schedule a doctor’s appointment online with two clicks; find out what disease I have with a couple of clicks; look up medications to find out if I’m being overmedicated and, praise or complain about any doctor or office staff. I don’t even have to write a full sentence; I only have to check off my thoughts.

I honestly do not understand why I’m so tired at the end of a long day. I did so much.


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