I Fought With My Comforter…And Lost


ColOrchard_AThe Internet has given us access to a lot of information, and when we see something that was tailor made for ourselves, we suck it up like bacon to cast iron.

Duvets covers are very popular: they protect our comforters from everything that will eventually spill on them. They’re expensive. The manufacturers know that you want to continue a theme and that you’ll go for this cover no matter the price. There had to be a better way to put on this annoying cover. How about a YouTube video showing you a better way to put a cover on?

Duvet covers are not hard to make. Basically, you’re slipping the comforter into an envelope. I’ve made closures with buttons, snaps, lace ribbons, and with just a slit in the middle of the bottom edge so that I can stuff the comforter into the cover. Even with experience, there always comes a time when you really don’t know it all…or as much as you would like to think you do.

Well, one day on YouTube, I saw this video showing the best way to insert your comforter into a duvet cover. It was called the sausage roll.

Step 1: Lay the duvet cover on your bed (or floor) inside out.

Step 2: Put your comforter on top of the duvet cover.

Step 3: Make sure the opening of the cover is at the bottom of your bed.

Step 4: Now start rolling all the fabric and your comforter into a sausage-shaped roll. To do this, you must run from one side of the bed to the other so that you can get equal rolling done. You must now attempt to squeeze everything into a sausage shape starting at the top of your bed (say on the right side), going down to the bottom of your bed. You will then run to the left side and roll, run back to the right side and roll, run to the left side and roll, run to the right side and roll…my Fitbit has already logged in a day’s worth of steps.

When you have all your fabrics at the bottom of your bed in a roll, then you will now try to stuff everything into the opening that you made. This is the equivalent of Spanx meeting your body, not a pretty sight, but one hopes for a great outcome. Apparently, you now have the sausage squeezed into your new duvet cover and you just have to shake it all out so that everything fluffs up into an elegant cloud of bedding. One would think. Well, one would be wrong.

I am a traditionalist at heart so I went back to shoving the whole comforter into the cover.

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M.E. Orchard is a columnist for Levittown Tribune.


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